yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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