I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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