matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
