Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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