Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
