hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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