benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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