Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
