i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
