You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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