I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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