it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
