its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize