oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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