I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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