According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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