worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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