And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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