Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
