This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
