i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
