I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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