she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
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I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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