so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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