As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
