I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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