Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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