If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
