Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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