Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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