I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
