I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
