she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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