Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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