wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
