I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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