i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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