well most of my day revolves around power hour
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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