Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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