I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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