dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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