STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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