I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's Friday. Sex?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
