Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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