It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I enjoy the company of your penis
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
