Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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