Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
