Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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