I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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