Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
nutella sex= disaster
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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