I love black thongs
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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